So it's been awhile since I've made a real post on here.
This account was made so I could document my ups and downs of therapy and my mental health. To let other people know they arent alone, but I haven't been doing a good job of that, now have I?
I've been in a downfall that I've been trying to hide for awhile. And I havent been posting about it because... I feel if I hide it long enough, it will disappear. I've even been hiding it from my therapist... If I talk about only the good, I will feel good... but that isnt true.
When I was on vacation, I didnt have my sessions with my therapist. Within that month, I tried my best to practice what I've learned... but it didnt work. I fell back into old patterns and everything came haunting me again.
My triggers seemed to happen more and more. My breathing would shorten and panic would set in and I tried the methods. But it didnt work... When I work, a man haunts me. I see figures that loom over me, and I freak out. I have to tell myself it's all in my mind. That doesnt help.
I laugh along with others about my tendencies, because its abnormal, it's funny to watch me jump and be scared. But I'm always scared. And I hate it. It feels like I'm back at square one and I dont know where to begin...
So, to the ones who worked hard to get to a better place, but fall down, it happens sometimes. We can hope to get back to where we were before we fell... just admit that you fell in the first place 😊 itll be better. ○ ● ○ ● ○ ●
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Los Vendedores de Churros y Mangos de la Estación Atlantic-Barclays
José and Maria were kind enough to allow me to take reference photos to paint them. I know I probably could have just taken photos without asking, but I felt better asking. (Well my husband Carlos asked... I’m shy 😅) We also made it a point to ask them where they’re from. Turns out they’re from Ecuador.